Secret Lives

                   Under the haze of the Hawaiian morning sun, amidst the aromatic, frangipani tree-lined streets, a timid, but precocious, 9-year-old girl, named Felicia, moved to our town.  We lived in the sleepy remote town of Haleiwa, along the North Shore of Hawaii.  Her family was small, including just a younger sibling and her parents.  Most Polynesian families in our neighborhood had at least four or five kids.  They were definitely not the norm.  Her father was one good-looking man!  He could probably pass for Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson’s look-a-like!  Their Polynesian features where unmistakably similar.  Felicia’s mother was equally as gorgeous as her two daughters.   She seemed to be very reserved, like something awful had silenced her inner-spirit.  Her parents didn’t associate much with anyone so no one knew why they had moved there or from whence they came.  They were indeed the town mystery. 

Felicia had stunningly-black, long, flowy, curly hair, and skin kissed by the sun.  She was a slender build at a little over 4-feet tall; a true Polynesian beauty.  Her deep, dark eyes also held a sense of intense mystery.  She, like her mother, was also withdrawn; like a beautiful hibiscus flower that had once bloomed with glory than wilted, never to be restored to its original splendor.  The mystery of their family was as dark as the molten, hardened, lava rocks often seen along the scenic stretch of Haleiwa coastline along the North Shore.  She had a little sister, Sosefina, who was equally as stunning.  Sosefina was four years younger than Felicia and in Kindergarten.  It was often Felicia’s responsibility to tend to the constant needs of her younger sibling when her parents were working or involved in other activities.  She was like a little mom.  She was seldom seen enjoying the normal, playful activities that most of the children enjoyed in their family-oriented community.  

Sophia noticed Felicia right away when she was introduced as a new student by her homeroom teacher, Mrs. Kobayashi.  Sophia had been attending Sunset Elementary School for over five years and was glad to be able to make new friends.  Sophia immediately knew she wanted to become friends with Felicia.  Sophia had lived in the same Haleiwa neighborhood, where Felicia had recently moved, nearly all her life.  She had similar features.  Sophia had noticed Felicia seemed shy too.  To most, Sophia was a happy girl, but also had a tendency to be shy, though fiercely assertive when provoked.  She was not to be messed with by anybody!  She loved school and loved all types of sports and outdoor activities.   

She moments she relished most was spent going to Sunset beach where she enjoyed watching the professional surfers who often came to battle the pipeline.  She loved when the waves came crashing in against the seashore.  She loved when the waters would recede and she’d rush to gather all the seashells.  She loved the misty, ocean fragrance and loved the way the cool water penetrated the space between her toes; she loved the how the sand felt beneath her barefoot brown feet.  She loved the way the sun felt against her skin after she got out of the water.  It felt like a warm blanket encircling her with love.  She loved everything about being near the ocean!  She felt as if every burden had been momentarily lifted.  She was on top of the world.  The ocean was her refuge; her place of serenity.  There, she felt complete joy.  When she wanted to unwind, late at night, she also enjoyed writing in her diary, writing about the things she loved to do most and the things that troubled her heart and her home.  Oh, the secrets, that diary held.  It was another form of release and escape from her world.  Sophia had several siblings: two sisters and two brothers.  Her older brother was actually a half-brother that most people assumed was her real brother.  She liked it that way.  She wished he was her full brother and considered him so.  He was older, 13 years old to be exact!  If anyone tried to hurt her at school, she would call on her older brother to come and protect her.   

Often the guys at school would try to ‘get fresh’ with her and she wouldn’t tolerate their nonsense.  She would simply threaten to have her older brother beat them up if they touched her and that was all it took.  Oh, she could be fierce when provoked!  Though he was tall in stature than most kids his age, he didn’t have a mean bone in his body, but just the sheer look of his stature would intimidate the biggest bully at school to back off!  For his love and protection, she loved and adored her older brother.  He was artistically-gifted, smart, very shy, and kept to himself.  He was the eldest and had many household responsibilities, including many chores to accomplish every day, before and after school.  She also loved all her other siblings, every one of them.  Her older sister was 12 and vivacious.  Her younger sister was 8-years-old and smart as a whip.  Her younger brother was only 4-years-old, cute and fat, and attended the pre-school program at her same school.  He was a hand-full, always demanding so much attention from everyone, but nonetheless, she loved that chunky, little monster!  To most outsiders, they appeared to be a normal family.

At school and everywhere she went, people gravitated towards her for her friendly personality and love for people and life.  Apart from sports, games, and various outdoor activities, she also had a passion for singing and Polynesian dancing.  She loved to dance and sing; everything from Polynesian music to Top 40s.  She loved all genres of music and always had a song in her mind and a groove in her step.  She was born to dance and sing!  Though she appeared happy to most people who crossed her path, she held on to a secret nobody knew apart from her family.  She knew if she revealed this secret, it could bring harm upon her family, so she tried to distract herself with as many activities as possible and focus on all the positive elements of her life and suppress all the sadness in her heart.

She felt, perhaps Felicia could be someone she could become good friends with one day though she did not know why.  She had many friends, but there was something different about Felicia.  She considered Felicia someone she wanted to get to know and thought maybe someday she could confide in her.  Both Sophia and Felicia were the same age, of Polynesian descent, both reserved, and both seemed to have a mysterious side, a side no one knew.  Sophia felt like there was something special between them; they both seemed to carry their own, deep secret; a hidden pain that could not be revealed.  Sophia decided to befriend Felicia one day, approaching her before recess.  “Hi Felicia,” she exclaimed with excitement!  “I’m Sophia!  Do you want to play with me during recess today?”  Felicia began to shyly crack a smile and timidly replied, “Thank you.  I’m okay.  I can stay here, but thank you.”  Sophia immediately responded, “C’mon Felicia!  Look!  All the kids are getting ready to play sham-battle!  Let’s go!  You’ll love it!  It is the funnest game---ever!”  “I don’t know how to play sham-battle,” replied Felicia in a soft-spoken, withdrawn tone.  “Oh, it’s easy!” replied Felicia.  “If I can do it, you can do it!  I’ll show you how it’s done!  Just come with me!  You will love it, girlfriend!” 

The two girls left the field as friends.  Felicia was so grateful, she said with pure happiness and sincerity in her voice: “Thank you so much for inviting me to play.  I have no friends.  You are so nice.”  Sophia happily responded, “You are nice too!  You have a friend now!  I hope we can hang out at lunch time or next time at recess?”  Felicia quietly responded, “Thank you Sophia.”  Sophia  enthusiastically responded with a little bit of island-style sass, “I’m your friend now so you can hang with me any day!”  Later that same day, they met up for lunch and that afternoon, the two girls met up to walk home from school.  The next day, Sophia looked for Felicia, but she was nowhere in sight.  After school, she went home and went outside to play.  As the sun was setting over Haleiwa, she caught a glimpse of an unfamiliar girl in a dress, off in the distance, but she could only see her from the back.  Who was this short-haired girl she had not seen before?  Most of the girls all had long, black hair.  The girl had short hair, but appeared to be about the same age as her. 

She walked a little closer to get a better glimpse of the strange girl who seemed to be out on the side of her house taking out the trash.  When she got a glimpse of her side profile, she gasped in shock, like she had been kicked in the stomach.  It was Felicia, but she had hardly any hair left on her head!  She almost looked like a boy, she could hardly recognize her!  Where was her long, beautiful, flowy black hair?  Sophia called to Felicia, “Felicia!”  Felicia turned around all the way now, clearly trying to avoid eye contact.  Sophia said to her dear friend, “Felicia, what’s wrong?  What happened to your hair?”  Felicia seemed to try to withdraw her face like a snail who hides his head in its shell.  She started to speak with sadness in her voice and tears in her eyes, “I’m okay.”  Sophia asked more calmly, seeing the tears beginning to stream from Felicia’s eyes, “What happened to your hair?”  Felicia said in a sad tone, “My dad asked me to sing for him and I didn’t want to, so he slapped me and cut off all my hair.”  He said, “The next time she was asked to sing, she better sing!” 

Sophia was saddened and told her friend she would see her at school the next day and began to walk back home, deeply saddened by what she had just learned.  She thought about the abuse to follow in her own home.  She eldest brother was verbally and often physically abused as he was a child of rape.  Her mother couldn’t control herself at times and in a state of pure rage, she would lash out with anything she could get her hands on.  She would often see her brother bleeding and crying for relief.  She loved her dear older brother.  Though he was her protector, she could not protect him.  She felt helpless.  Likewise, she knew she didn’t want to get Felicia into any trouble (like she didn’t want to get anyone in her own family in trouble), so that night, she quietly went to her room after dinner, wrote in her diary, and prayed that someday things would get better. 

She never revealed the abuse that she witnessed as a child to anyone.  She locked away her secrets in her diary.  She recognized it was wrong and vowed that one day she would have her own family and would never repeat the cycle of abuse she witnessed as a child.  She later learned about God and the Plan of Salvation and she knew she could and would do better.  She has since lost touch with Felicia, but has vowed to be a better friend and a better mother and advocate against abuse.

My Sweet Little Niece, Eva

One of the things I love the most in life is spending time with my beautiful nieces.  I don’t have any children so they are the daughters I do not yet have.  I had the opportunity to spend a great deal of time with my first niece, while she was a young.  She is now twenty and attending college in Arizona.  My other sweet little niece brings me hours of fun and laughter.  This little combination firecracker-sweetheart, all rolled into one, stands less than four feet tall, with long flowy, silky black hair, piercing dark brown eyes, and pale white skin.   Her name is Eva.  Her Samoan name is Lanuola which translated means the color that never fades.   She is the ripe old age of four with a wise-cracking, witty, fiery personality---a mind all her own!  My sweet four-year-old niece allowed me the opportunity to chat with her for a few minutes and here’s what she had to say.

I began our conversation sitting at the dining room table one evening as Eva intently worked on her homework assignment, coloring figures representative of numbers on her pre-school math assignment.  Her mother and her 3-month old baby brother also sat nearby as we chatted.  “Eva, I need your help today for a school assignment.  Is it okay if I ask you some questions?”  My niece emphatically stated, “Sure!”  I responded, “Eva, how old are you?”  My niece indicated “Four!  You’ve been to my birthday!  I love unicorns!”  I replied, “You love unicorns?  Why?”  She smiled and indicated “Because they’re pretty.”  I asked again, “What else do you like to do?”  She sweetly replied, “I like to play with Barbie’s and I like to color.  Uhm, don’t write that because I didn’t mean to say that.”  I chuckled and stated, “What do you want me to write?”  My sweet Eva, stated “Love Eva.”
            

 I asked her, “What else do you like besides Barbies and coloring?”  She indicated with a beaming smile, “I like to uhm, to uhm, I like to eat pizza!”  I smiled and stated, “I do too!  What else do you like to do?”  She continued coloring and stated, “I like to play with my toys.”  I continued the interview, “What’s your favorite movie?”  She smiled excitedly and said with a glow, “Treasure Buddies.”  I indicated in a peculiar tone, “What’s Treasure Buddies?”  She explained with excitement, “There is a little boy that went to Egypt with his grandpa and his pups followed him.  The pups and the little boy with his grandpa go into the pyramid and I forgot the rest.  We’ll have to talk about something else.  There was two monkeys and one was uh, uncle, monkey, and, and, uh, there was a grandson monkey and an uncle monkey and the grandson monkey listened to the story.  They had a fight with bananas.  Two monkeys had a fight, and uhm, they had a banana fight and uh, and uh, the uncle said: ‘Hold on to your bananas!’”   The conversation continued into the evening:

I asked:                      What are your most favorite things to do?
Eva responded:        “I like to go to school.”

I asked:                      You like to go to school?

Eva responded:        “Uh, huh, because it’s fun!  And I can do gymnastics!  And I can do homework!  Write ‘D---dd----dd—dd—dd—dd!’”

I asked:                      What does that mean?

Eva responded:        “It means snow man!”

I asked:                      In what language?

Eva responded:        “In D---dd----dd—dd—dd—dd!”

I asked:                      Do you have a best friend?

Eva responded:        “Caroline  and horses!”

I asked:                      Your best friends are horses?

Eva responded:        “I have dogs, but the horses are imaginary.  The cows are in my super-mind and they are my age.” 

I asked:                      What do they look like?

Eva responded:        “One has purple hair and one has pink hair and one has blue hair and one has black hair and one has brown hair and one has 7 pieces of hair and one has jelly, octopus for hair!”

I asked:                      What is your favorite subject at school? 

Eva responded:        “Playing?”

I asked:                      Playing is not a subject.  Do you like math, like numbers?

Eva responded:        “I like when they repeat.”

I asked:                      When you grow up, what do you want to be?

Eva responded:        “A vegetariest!”

I asked:                      What do ‘vegetariests’ do?

Eva responded:        “Doing the stuff that is right and fixing people’s bodies.”

I asked:                      Oh, like a doctor?

Eva responded:        “And give people ‘vegetariest brains.’  Cut up their brain and then put some meat in it and take out the vegetariest.  Take out their teeth and put more in.”

I asked:                      Do you like babies, like your little brother?

Eva responded:        “Yes, yes, yes!”                                

I asked:                      What do you like about babies?

Eva responded:        “That they scream!”  (She proceeded to demonstrate how babies scream).

I asked:                      Do you like to dance?  What do you like about dancing?

Eva responded:        “I like dancing with Santa Claus.”

I asked:                      When did you dance with Santa Claus?

Eva responded:        “Last night.”

I asked:                      If you had $500.00, what would you buy?

Eva responded:        “Pet octopus.”

I asked:                      I’m sure you can get much more than that with your $500.00.   What else would you buy with the rest of your money?

Eva responded:        “Pet turtle, flowers, a bushel of flowers, a bushel of cows.”

I asked:                      What is your favorite animal?

Eva responded:        “A parrot; parrots are good friends.”

I asked:                      Where did you see a parrot?

Eva responded:        “On TV!”

I asked:                      Do you have a favorite song?

Eva responded:        “Twinkle, twinkle little star.”

I asked:                      Who is the President of the United States?

Eva responded:        “George Ham…President S. Monson.”

I responded, then asked:    That’s the President of our Church, President Thomas S. Monson.  What is your favorite church song?

Eva responded:        “I am a child of God.”  (She sweetly sang the whole song). 

I asked:                      What’s your favorite flower?

Eva responded:        “My favorite flowers are petunias, purple and pink--and alien flowers.”

I asked:                      What do alien flowers look like?

Eva responded:        “They have scary dots.  Only on cartoons like Scooby-doo, they can smell the alien flowers, but they’re stinky.”

I asked:                      What is your favorite song on the radio?

Eva responded:        “Oooh baby, I was born this way!  I was born this way, I was born this way!  Oooh, baby, I was born this way!  I was born this way!  I’m on the right track baby, I was born this way.”  (Lady Gaga) 

My Beautiful Polynesia

Years ago, after relocating from my native islands of Samoa; the cradle of Polynesia, I spent the majority of my younger years growing up in Hawaii, at the apex of the Polynesian Triangle.  While spending my early childhood in Hawaii, I gained a deep love for the natural and exotic elements of Polynesian landscapes, culture, and traditions.  I can still vividly recall the Hawaii of my youth.  As a young girl with black hair and tanned skin, I was like most of the other kids in my neighborhood.  We played amidst exotic tropical flowers of every shade and alluring tropical fragrances.  I also remember the soaring trees adorned with aromatic flowers, such as the frangipani (plumeria), used to make leis for special occasions, trees abounding of plump mangos and papaya, sleeping ferns beneath my feet (with the slightest touch, their tiny leaves would fold and go to sleep), bird of paradise, hibiscus, and my favorite intoxicating tiare flower, tropical rainforest ferns, coconut palms, banana plants, fresh sugar cane, taro plants, guava trees, soaring peaks, lush rainforests, tranquil blue waters, and amazing ocean creatures; these were only among a few of my favorite things about my natural childhood playground; Hawaii.

After leaving Hawaii as a young girl, it was difficult to adjust to life in the desert of Arizona.  I longed for the islands; the place of my early childhood years.  Whenever I met someone from the islands, we became instant friends.  I continued to dance hula as a sweet release; a way to stay in touch with my Polynesian roots.  I can still vividly remember my father singing while playing his ukulele to the tune of beautiful Samoan music, sung in his native tongue.  My mother would also play her favorite Polynesian music, on cassette, while I would sing and dance around the house.  Every fiber of my being longed for Polynesia.

 

                        It wasn’t until I was in my twenties, after completing my schooling and first Bachelor’s degree, that I had the opportunity to return home to Samoa, the place of my birth; the land of my ancestors.  I can remember the long flight from Arizona to Los Angeles International Airport, then to Samoa; it seemed like the flight would never come to an end.  It was a direct flight, 11 hours across thousands of miles of ocean.  As I reflected on my return to my homeland, I wondered how incredible it was that my native people had inhabited the Polynesian islands of Samoa, as sea-faring navigators without a compass; shores where many of my relatives still reside and flourish.  Then, it really hit me; I was finally going home!  I can still recall the sweet descent into Samoa as the Captain announced our anticipated arrival was drawing close.  Many of us peered out our windows to absorb the beauty of bright lights dotting the islands below.  The feeling of complete joy filled my soul.  I was finally going home.

            As we made our final descent into Samoa, the lights brightly beamed closer and closer, as the plane safely landed on the tarmac; we had arrived on Samoan soil.  Home, at last!  My dad and I quickly gathered our carry-on luggage and exited the plane, walking briskly across the tarmac to the entrance of Faleolo Airport where the sign greeted us: “Talofa!  Welcome to Samoa!”  I was surrounded by a sea of people and the alluring melodies of native Samoan voices, dressed in their traditional island-ware, singing and playing traditional Samoan music to the tune of the same sweet music of my youth.  I was really home!  Other travelers hustled about to retrieve their luggage and greet their anxious family members; some Palagis (foreigners (not of Polynesian descent)) appeared to be there on holiday as they picked up their surf boards and left on shuttle buses to their various village accommodations to catch the best waves.

      

          One of my beautiful relatives awaited our arrival; a lovely cousin who I had not seen since I was very young.  Her welcoming voice and island hospitality was as refreshing as cool lemonade on a summer day.  We made the thirty minute-commute to my family’s beachfront home in Vaitele as I soaked in the beauty outside my car window.  All along the drive, I gazed in awe amidst the night sky, at the simplicity and tranquil beauty of the sweet-smelling flowers adorning the trees like glistening ornaments in the night, seeing little fales (similar to huts) dotting the coastal villages; all with perfectly-manicured lawns brought happiness to my soul.  I had finally arrived home to Polynesia; the home of my people.

          Despite the effects of western culture, Samoa has still maintained true to its native roots.  Samoa is like a diamond in the rough, particularly stunning when leaving the main city areas, where there is only one traffic light and where time seems to have stood still.  In the early morning, the police marching band still parades through Apia and the church bells ring signaling time for evening prayer at dusk.  As I explored Samoa in the ensuing weeks, arising early to take in as many sights as possible in my two-week stay, I discovered the richness and beauty of the Samoan culture and found the language still intact.   Apart from the soaring landscapes and breathtaking scenery, I was astounded at the traditional Samoan dances still performed at the evening shows with the bounteous Polynesian dishes served during Fiafia nights included everything from fresh fish, tropical fruits of all kinds, and fresh umu-roasted pig; the tastes and smells permeated my senses.
 

          It wasn’t until a few years later, after several trips to Samoa, that I had an opportunity to also return to Hawaii, where I had spent the early part of my childhood years.  Though similar to Samoa, Hawaii was much more congested now.  It no longer held the same feeling of nostalgia that I once knew and loved, but there was still a sense of love for the islands of my youth.  Looking back now, many decades later, I believe by leaving Hawaii and Samoa, as a young girl, I have come to gain a greater appreciation for the magnificence of God and the richness and natural beauty of Polynesia.  I look forward to returning to my beautiful Polynesia again someday soon.

The Day I Knew My Life Had Changed Forever

The day I knew my life would never be the same began very early one crisp, summer morning in Honolulu, Hawaii, just one month shy of my tenth birthday.  I can vividly recall this day; the day my life changed forever.  That particular summer morning was not like any other; my elder sister and I were awoken much earlier than usual, as the sun began to rise over my beautiful Hawaii.  Instead of enjoying summer fun activities, like the beach, or playing volleyball ‘til dark, we were dropped off by my father at the Honolulu International Airport.  My father told us it was our responsibility to remain there, curbside, and wait until he returned with the remainder of our belongings.  While assigned to safeguard our curbside post, several suitcases and boxes arrived throughout the day, dropped-off by my father containing the only belongings we would be taking with us from our home; belongings such as clothing, photographs, household items, and other possessions my mother deemed absolutely necessary.  Meanwhile, my dad and mom completed the moving process, also attending to my other siblings, while my elder sister and I waited at the airport.  It was ironic to see all our material possessions consolidated into only a few large suitcases and several boxes; all other material possessions, accumulated over nearly a decade, was donated or discarded, ensuring we would be able to leave on our designated departure flight that night.  When my father had a vision or a plan, he executed it with precision; no delays, no hiccups.  Everyone got on board and that was that---no questions.

As the day progressed into night, my thoughts continued to race; a combination of confusion and excitement.  We were really leaving the oasis of Hawaii, I thought to myself; the only home I had ever known since my family originally migrated from Samoa, when I was too young to remember.  As my sister and I waited curbside from sunrise to sunset, the minutes seemed like hours, the hours seemed like days.  There were many people dropped off as we waited, dashing to catch their flights to what I imagined were exotic, captivating destinations.  As I imagined the excitement of their journeys, I somewhat looked forward to what lay ahead on my own journey, though I really had no concept of what was to be expected.  While we waited curbside for hours upon hours until night set in, my father and mother, and other siblings, finally arrived at the airport to join us for our departure flight.  Anxiousness and nervousness set in; this would be the first time I could recollect traveling abroad on an airplane, though I had been told our family had traveled often, during my infant and toddler years, back and forth from Samoa to Hawaii; while my father and aunt (who had immigrated previously to Salt Lake City) had persistently worked remotely (he in Samoa and Hawaii and she in Salt Lake City) towards finalizing our immigration process.  As the night emerged, it was becoming more and more evidently clear, we were really leaving Hawaii; confusion and excitement must have permeated every cell of my body.   

That somber, summer night, as my family and I were assembled at the gate of our departure flight, I recall one of my sweet aunts and her husband; two beautiful Polynesians, came to see us off at the airport.  It was very late at this point; the sun had set many hours prior to our final departure call.  My family members, who would be boarding our departure flight, also included my younger sister, elder sister, younger brother, elder brother, and my parents.  As we awaited our final departure call, I have often wondered if my siblings had the same feelings of intensified apprehension and excitement.  A few others also came to see us off at the airport.
 

Soon, the final boarding call blared over the loud speakers; the long-awaited moment had arrived.  My aunt was in tears, my mother was in tears; my tears started to flow too.  The reality really hit me then----we were not going on a temporary holiday.  As far as I could recollect, we never left Hawaii for any amount of time after our immigration process was finalized.  It was apparently clear; we were really leaving Hawaii for good---forever.  We were permanently leaving our home.  With sadness and uncertainty, we boarded the plane.  I can still distinctly remember the strangeness of the entire moment.  Aboard the plane, situated like sardines, the movie “Islands in the Stream” with Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers was the feature film that night.  I recall we did get a meal; though I don’t remember what was served except I remember seeing the iconic Hawaiian orchid on my plate; a typical island symbol of aloha.  I don’t remember too much else after my meal; I must have fallen asleep.  When I awoke, it was daylight and we hurriedly exited the aircraft.  We had landed in Los Angeles.

Although the flight was probably only five hours, it seemed like an eternity.  When we arrived at LAX, after exiting the plane and retrieving our only possessions, we made our way curbside to meet our arrival party; my uncle and one of his daughters, who had made the drive from Arizona.  I was elated to see them; especially my cousin.  We were the same age.  At curbside, after they arrived to meet us, I remember we all packed into a large, blue van, loaded our personal belongings, and set off on our journey to their home, in Arizona.  I had no idea where Arizona was nor had no idea of the proximity of the airport to their home.  Since my limited exposure to the outside world (outside Hawaii) came from television shows, I felt like a fish out of water.  Most destinations on Oahu (the island of Hawaii where I grew up) are within just a few minutes, so I was unaware of the great distance we would be required to travel to reach their home in Arizona.  We seemed to drive for what seemed like a million miles through very unfamiliar territory, after leaving Los Angeles.  I felt like we would never reach our journey’s end.  While on this journey, passing what seemed like acres upon acres of barren nothingness, we must have hit a nail.  We ended up stopping to get the tire repaired, at a little pit stop/gas station, in an old western-looking town, that seemed like someplace out of a Duke’s of Hazard show; one of those “if you blink” you might miss it-type towns.  I definitely wasn’t in Hawaii anymore!

  

     As far as the eye could see, for miles and miles, signs of life were limited----dead, dry, or drying vegetation; what I thought was desolate in comparison to my beautiful Hawaii.  We continued the journey well into the night; mostly in silence as the night progressed and eased into morning.  I soon grew tired and fell asleep, awakened by the sound of unfamiliar male voices; the van had also come to a halt and my uncle was conversing with what appeared to be guards.  We had arrived at what I came to find out was actually a military installation where they resided; an Army post; completely foreign to me.  This is where we would begin our new life----our new journey.  

The ensuing years that followed our relocation to Arizona were some of the most difficult years of my life, feeling homesick for the islands I called home, often wishing I were home. I later came to see and appreciate my dad’s vision and understand his desire for us to leave Hawaii.  He simply wanted us to have the opportunity to progress, experience new things, and receive better educational opportunities within a safe environment.  Though it was initially difficult to comprehend and adjust to my new home, new school, new surroundings, and assimilate into a totally different world, as I knew it, I have come to love Arizona and recognize the unique beauty of the desert and consider it my secondary home; though I still am and will always consider myself, an island girl at heart---once an island girl, always an island girl!